


Discarded

by brotective



Category: BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Growing Up, Overworking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-05
Updated: 2018-12-05
Packaged: 2019-09-12 02:59:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16864876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brotective/pseuds/brotective
Summary: Chisato’s work values her because she’s young and beautiful, and as much as she dedicates herself to it, she knows what comes next:Absolutely nothing.





	Discarded

**Author's Note:**

> i feel like a lot of people forget how overworked the pasupare girls probably are, especially chisato? she puts up such a facade and the idol industry is a messy place man. i obviously have no experience with it so these aren’t Facts but. i am personally tired so chisato is the big mood  
> anyway i really did want to write chisato being genuinely happy. ironically this is also the first sad thing ive actually felt confident enough to post on here, so. yay?

When Kaoru said “dance with me”, the answer wasn’t yes. Chisato was wearing a gorgeous dress that was far from her style, shoes that Kaoru couldn’t imagine walking in, and standing alone by a dance floor. Her bandmates were there, all preoccupied with each other, and Chisato had still said no.

Kaoru remembered dancing with Chisato as a kid. Chisato had smiled widely, clasped their hands together, and said “Hold on tight, Kao-chan!” as they soared together. They were spinning fast, but Kaoru saw Chisato in all of her vibrant detail, loving her more and more every second they were together. When they stopped, laughing as they dizzily fell to the ground, Chisato had the brightest eyes Kaoru had ever seen.

“That was a long time ago,” Chisato told herself one day. She was alone, surrounded by fans but alone, not knowing what her future held or if she had one at all. The bags under her eyes were as dark as her future, covered by top-rate concealer that she had never applied with her own hands.

It was a long time ago.

Kaoru loved the stage. She could pour her heart and soul into it, knew every line to the letter, and believed every word that came out of her mouth. She was a brave knight, a charming prince, a vaguely stupid not-quite-royal from one of the houses that ruled the town.

The stage was who she was. In that moment, the dragon was the greatest foe she had ever faced, the slipper was fitted perfectly to her princess, and her dearest Juliet was the sun.

Romeo was deeply in love with Juliet, and while Kaoru was on stage, she was in love.

“I am thou, and thou art I.”

Scenes flashed by, and as she stood up for curtain call, she was Kaoru again.

Kaoru was still in love with Juliet. Every day, she was more in love with Juliet.

Each moment, Chisato was more in love with Romeo.

They were friendlier after that performance, but Chisato kept her distance. Kaoru still saw her cast her aside after her band performed to talk to Kanon, and though it was a blessing that she came to shows at all, Kaoru wondered why it was never her.

Kaoru studied the art of the theatre, performed uproariously with the band she loved, and followed her dreams passionately every day she grew older. Women still fell into her arms at the slightest movement, and her band grew more mature.

Hagumi moved in with Kokoro, finally able to leave her house and the parents inside of it to live with someone she loved.

Chisato thought, and she could do no more than think. She knew of Kaoru’s bandmates—she was in touch with both her and Kanon, after all.

She wanted that. She didn’t know if she wanted to be something, or someone.

As they grew older still, Chisato only grew too old, and that was it.

The rest of Pastel Palettes reacted to it well. They all had something else they knew, another dream to chase. Maya and Eve even got married shortly after the split of the band.

But you can’t be a child actress, a teenage legend, once you’re too old.

Chisato was tired. It took years of working herself to the bone to make her realize how much she needed a break.

She texted Kaoru.

“Let’s meet up.”

She got a response less than an hour later.

“I’d love that. Anywhere you’d like to go?”

Kaoru texted her the address to a nearby coffee shop. At noon the next day, Chisato tied up her hair and put on a nice dress to meet her there.

“It’s... good to see you,” she began awkwardly.

“My dearest kitten, I thought you had forgotten me.”

“You can... drop that, you know. And of course I didn’t forget. I couldn’t.” Chisato laughed. “It’s been so long, but you’re still the same Kaoru.”

Kaoru nodded. “Right, I... I like to think I haven’t changed too much.”

They were both older, but in that moment, Chisato felt so much younger.

They talked for a long time, finishing quite a few cups of tea and mugs of coffee, until Kaoru stood up.

“I have call in an hour. I ought to get going. It was lovely to see you again, Chii-chan.”

It had been so long. “Same to you, Kao-chan.”

Soon, they met up again. And again. And yet another time. Their meet-ups had become a standard thing after a while, something they just did when they both had time. Chisato had gotten into lower-level politics, and Kaoru remained a shining star on the stage, but Chisato had fallen back into her pattern.

She didn’t know what to do with herself besides work, work, and continue working. It felt odd to even take a minute with Kaoru.

One day, Kaoru invited her out.

“I had auditions this morning, and I need to relax. Let’s meet up tonight.”

If there was one habit that Chisato was glad to see Kaoru drop, it was adding cat emojis to the end of her texts in middle school.

“Name a time and place. I’m not busy until tomorrow afternoon, so we can be out a bit late.”

And so, at 9:30 P.M. that night, Kaoru and Chisato found themselves on a ledge overlooking a nearby river.

“The stars are beautiful tonight,” Kaoru commented, but Chisato was only looking at her. Kaoru seemed to realize this, looking down at her.

“You’re afraid of heights,” Chisato said. “What’s really going on?”

Kaoru immediately moved on to avoiding her gaze, staring down at the river. “I didn’t have auditions. I was asked to perform in something, and I only got the paperwork this morning.”

“Then why did you ask me to come here?”

Kaoru paused.

“You seemed like you needed a break.”

The water gently flowed beneath them, adding a beautiful sound to the empty night, and the stars were twinkling brightly.

“This place is isolated. Quiet. I thought you might like it.”

Chisato nodded. “I do, actually.”

But that wasn’t the full story.

“Chisato, if... if something’s wrong... I’m your friend. I care about you more than you could know.”

If the river wasn’t flowing, the silence would be deafening.

“I’m so tired,” she said. “I feel like... every second I’m not working is being wasted. I even feel bad being out here with you. I’m worried about what might be going on with my co-workers, or my house, and...” She looked up at Kaoru. “I’m doing all I can, but I know what it’s like out there. I have the connections, so it’s my job to do everything. But sometimes, it’s just crushing.”

Kaoru nodded. “I’m listening.”

“My body is falling apart, I’m always just waiting to fall asleep so I can have a moment of peace, and my mind is constantly coming up with ways I could be doing more.” Chisato sighed deeply. “I’m trying to learn how to take time for myself.” Getting all of that off her chest was odd, if a bit helpful, but it hurt so much to admit that the only way she knew was slowly killing her.

Kaoru looked down at her before leaning down to kiss her forehead. Chisato leaned back for a moment before tilting her head up high, grasping Kaoru’s collar, and allowing their lips to meet.

“I want you to have a happy medium, Chisato. There is nothing I desire more than your happiness.”

Chisato felt like she was about to cry. She wasn’t that vulnerable. She couldn’t afford to be vulnerable at all.

“I love you so much... Kao-chan, I love you. I wish I could have loved you sooner.”

“Having you in my life has been a blessing since the beginning.” Kaoru stood, offering a hand to Chisato. “Come, the night is only darkening. Would you like to spend the night with me? I can drive you to work, if you’d like.”

“I don’t think I’d mind company,” Chisato said, accepting the hand and pulling herself up.

Kaoru took her other hand. “Then I suggest that we abandon all pretense and dance the night away.”

Kaoru only spun her around once, and even in that time, the memories of their childhood came rushing back. Kaoru’s playground proposals, the rush of a first love, Kaoru refusing to go on the tall slide due to her fear of heights, and the days before working dawn til dusk was the normal schedule for a third year grade school student.

As she and Kaoru walked back to go to her apartment, Chisato realized she wanted this. She wanted a first and last love, the joy of new memories and the sweet remembrance of old memories, and the desire to be not something, but someone.

**Author's Note:**

> h this was written in maybe two hours at like midnight and is also totally unedited so i hope i didn’t leave too many mistakes!
> 
> also i literally just posted that misakanon fic yesterday and yall are already saying nice things fjskhfksbksjk tysm


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